Saturday, October 30, 2010

time for a new tattoo

i have been wanting to get a new tattoo. i want to get a weedy seadragon. and shading or coloring on the dragon on my back. it's time for it. i love sitting in the chair and getting the tattoo. it has been quite awhile since i had the dragon put on my back, now it is time for the shading and coloring. now if i can only get it done by christmas.

Friday, October 29, 2010

just an observance

last night i watched the laramie project on hbo it was about matthew sheppards death, and the two young men that were so homophobic, that the one boy beat matthey sheppard within inches of his death. and the other one then tied him to a fence out in laramie wyoming, in the cold weather leaving him to die. 
when i was young, i have never in any circumstances thought about killing someone, only when i have feared for my life, have i thought about things like this. but never in my dreams have i wanted to beat someone to death with my bare hands or a pistol butt. where in gods name does this stupidity come from. the one kid said he was afraid of gays, and that matthew had made a pass at him. i seriously doubt any of his story, all that kid did was try to cover his idiocy, stupidity, and alcohol induced agression. if it had been any other kid they ran across that night, it could have been them, gay, straight, but when they saw matthew in the bar, him and his buddy talked about jacking him up, i'm sure they robbed him. (even though i doubt matthew sheppard had a large sum of money on him). 
I hate to say it, but the old saying sticks and stones can break  your bones, (along with kill you if you get stoned to death like in the middle east), but words can't harm you. (that needs to be changed, words can harm you). people are intimidated everyday by verbal abuse, and verbal abuse usually leads to physical abuse, and it continues to escalate. 
i have been in relationships where i was verbally abused, and physically abused, and psychologically abused. but verbal abuse can be one of the worst, because it causes us to sometimes question ourselves. did i? why didn't i? are they right? why? why? why?
it helps to cause you to isolate, and not want help. why reach out you are what they have been telling you all along, aren't you? loser? gay, straight, a pussy, you can't do that of this? and it is endless. (look at all of the hatemongers, aryan nation, kkk, gangs in citys, they close their minds to the real truth, no too many of us are of any kind of pure blood, i know i'm not. i'm chickasaw, cherokee, german, and god only knows that last part since my grandfather on my mom's side of the family abandon them. 
i may comment on this again, because it has hit a cord. 
just know that if you are out there, and you live in america, you are most likely of mixed blood. no if's ands or buts about it. check out your geneology, it will amaze the living hell out of you. 

you might check out the laramie project, or look up matthew sheppards website. that kid was smart, and would have done something positive in his life. he all ready had at his young age. but never got achieve his potential  because of two homophobes.

my one consolation is that those two boys are now in a place where they cannot escape the possible other inmates, that will be forcing sex on them. that is there hell, for not stopping their actions, and taking a bright young man from this earth. they made their choice, now they are living in their own daily hell. 
may god bless you matthew sheppard. you did not deserve to die at the hands of two uneducated morons, with a vengence to hurt someone that night, and may god bless the two idiots that ended matthew sheppards life.